A Nintendo Fansite

“Welcome to the second season of – The Smashy Amazing Race!” said Master Hand. “Eleven teams are about to embark on a race around the world! These teams are:”

Zelda and Donkey Kong (The Romantic Tragedy)
Fox and Roy (Sheep and Shepard)
Kirby and Jigglypuff (Pink Puffballs Unite!)
Link and Marth (Guys with Swords)
Ness and Yoshi (Nerds)
Bowser and Ganondorf (Aggros)
Mewtwo and Pichu (How did that happen?)
Nana and Luigi (Won’t last)
Peach and Mario (Uncos)
Samus and Falcon (Quasi-uncos)
Popo and Young Link (Psuedo-uncos)

“Over the course of the race, each of the teams, with their different weaknesses and strengths, will have to face varied challenges to stay in the lead!” said Master Hand. “Let’s see them now!”

Zelda and Donkey Kong

What made you decide to sign up for the race?

“Well,” said DK, “I suppose it was for the excitement, the money… and of course, the chance to spend time with Zelda here.”

Zelda looked up, gasping slightly. “You… you like me?”

“Uh…” DK looked frantically at the camera. “Yes? I mean, no… I mean…” He looked around wildly.

“He hates me!” whimpered Zelda, who then broke into tears.

“Don’t cry!” cried DK, crying.

They both started crying.

Fox and Roy

“We’re going to have so much fun and excitement together!” said Fox innocently, in a voice like a six-year-old’s.

“What- shut up!” said Roy. “Why did I decide to go in a team with you?”

“Because we’re friends…” said Fox, hugging Roy. “…wait, why am I hugging you? Freak.”

Kirby and Jigglypuff

“Why? Because it’s fun, I guess,” said Kirby.

“Ig jig!” yelped Jigglypuff, grabbing Kirby’s arm and pointing.

“Yes, I know we’re on film,” said Kirby.

Jigglypuff started pulling faces at the camera.

Do you think you’ll win?

“Well, everyone says so, don’t they?” said Kirby. “I just-” He broke off as Jigglypuff tried to force herself into his mouth.

Link and Marth

“I am going to use this race as a teaching tool, as a benefit for Marth’s behaviour, and also to improve my already outstanding image as a role model,” said Link.

“Ah, you wimp,” said Marth, “you don’t need to help me!” He shoved a censored into Link’s face.

“You… you…” Link pulled out his sword and shouted, “A duel, you wench!”

Wench?” said Marth.

Link tried to kill Marth, then realised that he shouldn’t, and then apologised.

Marth shoved another censored into Link’s face.

Ness and Yoshi

“I think because of our significant intelligence in comparison to almost everyone else in the race, we can use the skill to make us a strong team!” said Ness. “Statistically in the last season of the race, Yoshi and I were in the top five teams, therefore by experience and result, making us a stronger team!”

Yoshi nodded, pulling out a chart.

Pointing at the chart, Ness said, “Also, when it comes to physical violence on the behalf of opposing teams who intend to harm us and thus resort to negative action, we have the capability of using Yoshi’s powers and my-”

“NEXT!” yelled Master Hand.

Bowser and Ganondorf

“We are the aggros, we are the aggressive evil ones, by pure strength and intimidation, we will use our lack of sensitivity to drive ourselves into the finals!” shouted Ganondorf.

Bowser picked up a puppy, and started petting it gently.

“We will use pure strength, willpower, and our respect for nothing to make us win! WIN!” screamed Ganondorf.

Bowser stroked the puppy gently, saying baby talk to it.

“Right Bowser?” asked Ganondorf, looking over at Bowser.

“Uh…” said Bowser, looking at the puppy. “Yeah…”

I am so sorry,” muttered Bowser to the puppy. “I just need to maintain my evil image!

“Gaar!” said Bowser in a fake tone, clawing the puppy, and killing it.

Bowser started to cry.

Ganondorf looked over at Bowser.

Bowser started fake-evil-laughing.

Ganondorf looked away.

“A waste of life…” muttered Bowser.

“What?” said Ganondorf.

“…is, uh, good…”

Kirby and Jigglypuff

“GET OFF!” shouted Kirby as Jigglypuff continued to jump on his head.

Mewtwo and Pichu

“Why did you two team up?” asked Master Hand.

No comment,” thought Mewtwo.

“Pichu!” said Pichu.

Mewtwo psychically bashed Pichu against the wall.

Master Hand stared. “Don’t you-”

No comment!” said Mewtwo, and Pichu giggled because he thought it was all a bit of fun.

Nana and Luigi

“I don’t know why I ended up with Luigi,” said Nana glumly. “Nobody likes Luigi!”

“Hey-a!” said Luigi angrily. “That is not-a true! Plenty of-”

“Shut up,” said Nana. “Master Hand, why couldn’t I just team up with Popo again?”

Master Hand sighed. “I already explained; we don’t want to have the same combinations as last time.”

Fine,” said Nana. “But now who do I put this dog collar on?”

“Dog-a collar?” said Luigi.

Nana turned to Luigi, smiling. “Hey…”

“I am not-a wearing that-a!” said Luigi, crossing his arms.

Yes. You. Are,” breathed Nana.

“No-a!”

Nana pulled out a shotgun and levelled it at Luigi’s chest. “One last chance.”

Luigi stared at the gun. “You-a wouldn’t shoot me.”

“Yes, I would,” said Nana.

“No-a you wouldn’t,” said Luigi.

Nana shot him.

“See?” said Nana. “I will shoot you.”

“Uh…” said Master Hand quietly, “I do believe he’s dead.”

“Oh,” said Nana. “You’re right, he is.”

Master Hand backed away.

“Pity, that,” said Nana.

Peach and Mario

“I’m-a using this race to build my relationship with Peach!” said Mario.

“I like stuff,” added Peach.

“She’s-a, er, a little on the dull side,” whispered Mario. “But that is-a okay, right Peach!”

No response.

“Peach?” said Mario.

Mario looked up.

“Peach! What are-a you doing up there? And why are you naked?”

Peach started dancing in the tree, but then fell from it.

“Ow,” said Peach.

Mario simply stared.

Samus and Falcon

“Well,” said Falcon, “over this race, I intend to sleep with Samus here as much as possible.”

Samus hit him in the face.

“And,” added Falcon, “she wants me to. You can just tell she wants me to. Don’t you, baby?”

Samus hit him in the groin. He fell to the ground, whimpering.

“For the record,” Samus said, “I didn’t ask to be in the same team with him, and I haven’t dropped out already because I want that money.”

Master Hand said, “So there’s no romantic int-”

Samus aimed her arm-cannon at him. “Shut up.”

“But-”

Samus hit Master Hand in the groin.

“Ow!” said Master Hand. “My- wait… I don’t have a…”

Popo and Young Link

“Well,” said Popo, “we-”

“THIS IS BORING!” shouted Master Hand. “The race starts now! GO!”

Nobody moved.

“Why aren’t you going?” asked Master Hand.

“Don’t we need, uh, clues?” said Marth.

“Oh, right. Clues. Those clues.” Master Hand dropped the clues. “Now go!”

RACE START
10:00 AM

Almost all of the teams made a desperate dash towards the clues, before slowly from the back the whole big chain of people collapsed, and formed a big pile of people. Seeing as they couldn’t move, they decided to form a giant brawl.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 10th Place

“Get the clues now!” said Kirby.

Kirby and Jigglypuff waddled around the giant brawl, and opened the clue.

“You must fly to Onett, where you must then take a cable-car to the Busy Bee Crater!” read Kirby.

“Teams must now depart from Smash Mansion, and take a taxi to the airport, where they must then fly to Onett! They must find the Busy Bee Crater, home of a giant hunk of metal, where they must search inside it for their next clue!” said Master Hand.

“Okay, we’ve got four-hundred dollars for this leg,” said Kirby. “Let’s get a taxi!”

Kirby and Jigglypuff waddled up to a taxi, peered up at the window, and looked at the taxi driver.

“Hello little puffball, do you want a ride?” asked the taxi driver, calmly.

“Yeah,” said Kirby, hopping in with Jigglypuff.

“Where do you want to go?” asked the taxi driver.

“I need to go to the airport,” said Kirby.

“Okay, I’ll get you there, at the normal speed limit!” said the taxi drivers.

“Well uh… you know,” said Kirby, starting to fake-cry, “Our parents both have cancer, and they have four days to live, so we need to go to the airport so we can say a last goodbye, before they fly to Fourside, where they’ll try and take surgery that has a ten percent chance of working!”

Kirby started crying, while Jigglypuff comforted him from the back.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll drive you to the airport, you cute little puffball!” said the taxi driver, whimpering as well.

“Uh… their flight leaves in ten minutes…” said Kirby, suddenly cheered up. “So you’ll have to drive four times faster then.”

“I’m not going to-”

“Cancer!” said Kirby, starting to break into tears.

“OKAY!” said the taxi driver, starting to cry, and pressing the acceleration pedal as hard as he could.

Kirby suddenly stopped crying, and started smiling, enjoying the 480kmph taxi ride.

“Whee!”

Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in 2nd Place

Oh, this is crazy,” thought Mewtwo. Mewtwo psychically picked the large pile of people up, and threw them behind him. He dragged Pichu out of the pile, and then levitated the clue towards him.

“You must fly to Onett, where you must then take a cable-car to the Busy Bee Crater!” read Mewtwo.

“Chu i chu pi pichu?” asked Pichu. “What’s a crater?”

A circular depression on a surface, usually caused by an asteroid,” said Mewtwo.

“Oh,” said Pichu.

Pichu thought about that for a while.

“Chu I chu pi pi pichu chu?” asked Pichu. “What’s an asteroid?”

“Shut up!” screamed Mewtwo, zapping 2000 volts of pure energy through Pichu.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place

“Onett, I know that place inside-out,” said Ness, grabbing the clue.

“Yoshi yoshi her hup yoshi?” said Yoshi. (Because you live there?)

“Yeah,” said Ness.

O RLY Owl

“O RLY?”

Peach and Mario
Currently in Last Place

“Peach-a! Get out of the tree-a!” said Mario, angrily.

Peach thought about that for a while…

…and continued thinking.

Mario smacked his head.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 4th Place

“That’s it!” screamed an aggressive Bowser, throwing everyone in the big pile-up away from him.

Bowser and Ganondorf opened the clue, and read it.

“You must fly to Onett, where you must then take a cable-car to the Busy Bee Crater!” read Bowser.

“Okay, let’s go, we’re the aggros right, we won’t let anything step in our way, right?” asked Ganondorf.

“Uh… yeah…” said Bowser, petting a puppy.

“We will knock down everything that comes in our way, and destroy absolutely everything, am I right?”

“Uh… yeah…” said Bowser, hugging a squirrel, calling it baby names.

“We will do the lowest thing to trick any other of the teams into going the wrong way, am I right?” asked Ganondorf.

“Yeah… right on…” said Bowser, giving Young Link directions to the airport.

“Well, let’s go!”

“Right…” said Bowser, flagging down a taxi.

Fox and Roy
Currently in 5th Place

“We’re gonna have so much fun in this race!” said Fox, munching on a lollipop, smiling innocently.

“Fox, are you okay?” asked Roy, opening their clue.

“Hurry Roy, we’ve gotta win at all costs! We’ve gotta win! Win! Win! Come on! You’re not winning fast enough, we’ve gotta win those million dollars as quick as we can!” screamed Fox, in a really deep voice, shaking Roy violently.

“Fox, do you have split personalities?” quizzed Roy.

“No,” said Fox, giggling.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 6th Place

“You must fly to Onett, where you must then take a cable-car to the Busy Bee Crater!” read Samus.

“Okay, Falcon flag down a taxi,” said Samus. “…and I’ll try and book tickets by phone!”

“I’ll flag a taxi in your heart…” said Falcon, in a put on, deep voice.

“That was an awful pick-up line,” said Samus. “If you try to come on to me ever again, I will shoot you in the stomach, you will not like it, and you will probably bleed. To death.”

“Okay…” said Falcon, nervously.

Falcon flagged down a taxi.

“What do I do now?” asked Falcon.

“Hold it until I book tickets!” shouted Samus.

“Hi,” said Samus into the phone. “I’d like to book tickets to the earliest flight to Onett!”

Samus waited for a few seconds.

“It departs at 12:30? Okay,” said Samus, hanging up.

Samus and Falcon
1st on 12:30 Air Four Flight

Link and Marth
Currently in 7th Place

“Okay, I heard everyone else, and we’re going to the airport, so flag down a taxi, and when we’re in there, we’ll read the directions,” said Link.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 8th Place

“Okay…” said Zelda, “We have to go to Onett…”

“Yeah, it should be fun going with you…” said Donkey Kong.

“Did you… Did you say you’re going to enjoy going with me?” asked Zelda, hopefully.

“Yes… I mean no… I mean… I don’t know!” said Donkey Kong, shedding some tears.

“He doesn’t like me!” cried Zelda.

“I’ve offended her!” sobbed Donkey Kong.

A couple of passers-by stared, confused.

Popo and Young Link
Currently in 9th Place

“Come on, Young Link, get your bags over to the taxi faster, we’ve got to beat everyone, and be faster than everyone!” said Popo.

“What makes you think I’m just going to hurry up and just go and-”

“One million dollars,” said Popo.

Young Link suddenly worked faster.

Nana and Luigi
Currently in 10th Place

“Master Hand,” said Nana, dragging Luigi’s body along the ground. “Can I just finish by myself, seeing that Luigi is dead?”

“Nope, sorry,” said Master Hand. “You’re going to have to drag his body to the pit stop!”

“Whatever,” sighed Nana.

Nana looked angrily back at Master Hand, and then walked towards a taxi, dragging Luigi’s body along the ground by his hand.

Peach and Mario
Currently in Last Place

“Peach-a, you don’t-a want me to cut down-a that tree for you!” said Mario, angrily.

“I guess you’re right,” said Peach.

Peach magically teleported back to the ground.

“Wow-a,” said Mario, amazed. “Why don’t you teleport us to the next clue?”

“Okay,” said Peach, “I’ll try!”

Peach grabbed on to Mario’s hand, and shut her eyes. They ended up in the same tree.

Mario smacked his head.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

“Hi,” said Kirby to a worker at the bookings desk. “Can we have tickets to the earliest flight that goes to Onett?”

The worker typed in some commands on a computer.

“Yes, here are some tickets to the 12:30 Air Four flight!”

“Thanks,” said Kirby, taking the tickets.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
2nd on 12:30 Air Four Flight

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place

“Hi, can we have the earliest flight to Onett?” asked Ness.

“Okay,” said a worker. “Here’s some tickets to the 12:30 Air Four flight.”

“Thanks!” said Ness.

Ness and Yoshi
3rd on 12:30 Air Four Flight

Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in 3rd Place

“Hi,” said Mewtwo, smiling, which was quite out of character. “Can we have the earliest tickets to Onett?”

“Okay,” said the worker, typing on the computer. “Uh… the first flight you can get is the ‘Mushroom Air’ flight at 1:30 PM.”

“Did you see any other teams from the race?” asked Mewtwo.

“Yes, they got a flight one hour earlier than you,” replied the worker.

“Well… uh… Pichu is sick here… and the only treatment we can get is in Onett…” said Mewtwo in somewhat of a faked tone.

Mewtwo placed Pichu on the counter, next to the worker.

“Nice try, but you can’t guilt trip me into giving you earlier tickets,” said the worker, slyly.

Mewtwo psychokinetically started to choke the worker.

“I… I’ll… se- see… cough what- I… I can… do…” said the worker, typing on the computer.

2 minutes later…

“Here’s your tickets,” said the worker, sweating, trying to fake a smile as well as he could.

Mewtwo and Pichu
Last on Air Four Flight

Fox and Roy
Currently in 4th Place

“Hi there,” said Fox, walking up to a counter, which had a sweating attendant.

“Hi…” replied the worker, shakingly.

“Can I have the earliest tickets to Onett?” asked Fox, happily.

“The first flight we have is the ‘Mushroom Air’ flight at 1:30 PM. And why, you’ve got the last seats on it!”

“Okay, we’ll take that,” said Roy.

Fox and Roy
1st on Mushroom Air flight

Fox took the tickets, and then headed with Roy towards the starting gates.

“That wasn’t so bad…” thought the worker to himself.

Bowser and Ganondorf walked up.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

“Hi, how are you?” said the worker, slightly calmer than before.

“Hi,” said Bowser, leaning over with one elbow, facing the worker on his side. “Can you give us the earliest tickets to Onett?”

“Well,” said the worker, typing in the computer. “We just sold out all of the tickets at the 1:30 flight, but there’s a flight at 2:00!”

“Oh, okay, well we’ll just take tho-”

Ganondorf shoved Bowser over, so he was out of view from the worker.

“Look, we don’t want any trouble,” said Ganondorf, cracking his knuckles. “But we’re in a hurry,” continued Ganondorf, grabbing a steel bar, and snapping it in half.

The worker started to sweat again.

“Okay, I’ll just take tickets from these people who reserved it much earlier, and give it to you.”

The worker wiped off a trickle of sweat.

Bowser shoved Ganondorf over.

“Thank you,” said Bowser, cheerily.

As Bowser and Ganondorf walked away, the worker tugged on his collar, worriedly.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Last on Mushroom Air Flight

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 6th Place

“Hi, can we get our reserved tickets for the 12:30 ‘Air Four’ flight?” asked Samus.

“Okay,” replied a Koopa worker, processing some tickets from a machine.

“I’ll reserve a ticket to your heart…” whispered Falcon into Samus’ ear.

A few seconds later…

“Here are your tickets!” said the Koopa worker. “And… uh… does your buddy need medical attention?”

“I need my stomach to live,” said Falcon, pointing to the hole in his side.

“Who says I want you to live?” said Samus. “Ooh! Gift shop!”

Link and Marth
Currently in 7th Place

“Hi, can we have the earliest tickets to Onett?” asked Link, at the counter.

“Okay,” replied a female human worker, typing into a computer. “The earliest flight I can get you is a 2:00 ‘Air Four’ flight!”

The worker handed the tickets over.

Link and Marth
1st on 2:00 Air Four Flight

“Hey,” whispered Marth to the worker. “Do you wanna see my CENSORED?”

“I don’t see why not,” replied the worker smiling.

Marth showed the worker his CENSORED.

“But that doesn’t- but how could that- but I don’t understand- I don’t-”

The worker was scarred for life.

(Note: CENSORED could be replaced for: chicken, mother, or bag of cinnamon rolls. Or something else. If you use your imagination. If you have one.)

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 8th Place

Zelda and Donkey Kong walked up to a private ticket bookings desk.

“Hi, can we have a flight to Onett, the earliest one that you can?” asked Zelda.

“Okay,” replied a Koopa worker, doing a search on the flight list.

“Okay, we can get you a 2:00 ‘Air Four’ flight,” said the Koopa worker, reading the flight details off the screen.

“Okay, that would be good,” said Zelda, taking the tickets.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
2nd on 2:00 Air Four Flight

“Uh… Miss… could I ask you why you’re travelling with an ape?” asked the worker, curiously. “Are you girlfriend/boyfriend, because I saw a documentary this other night, and it talked about how an ape and elf relationship would never happen, no matter how much love there was for each other, so they might as well give up right now! There was also this-”

Zelda and Donkey Kong suddenly started crying.

“-but – uh – sorry, ma’am, sir, uh… ape?”

Popo and Young Link

Currently in 9th Place

“Hey, can we have the next flight to Onett?” asked Popo, coming up to the counter.

“Okay,” replied a Koopa worker, processing tickets.

Popo and Young Link
3rd on 2:00 Air Four Flight

Young Link noticed that the worker was taking a while to print the tickets.
”Hey, Popo, I have this funny story that-” started Young Link.

“Stop,” said Popo.

“Why?”

“We’re supposed to be the uninteresting team to be killed off in the early legs, so no-one complains if the liked teams get eliminated. That means we can’t have any funny/interesting material, ever!” replied Popo, as if quoting from a sheet.

“Oh,” replied Young Link.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Right.”

Nana and Luigi
Currently in 10th Place

“Hi, can I have two seats for the flight to Onett?” asked Nana, in a sweet voice to the ticket salesman.

“Okay,” said the salesman.

“Uh…” said Nana, “…do you have any discount for dead bodies?”

“No… sorry…” said the salesman, “Is… Was he a pensioner?”

“Uh… yeah…” said Nana, in a high pitched, unconvincing voice.

“Oh, in that case you’ll get four dollars off your ticket,” said the salesman.

“Actually, that’s good,” said Nana, taking the tickets. “I can buy a Cokepsi™© with that four dollars!”

WTF Chicken
Don’t you think that joke’s getting a bit old?”

Rofl Pony
“Roflz, I haven’t got it yet!”

WTF Chicken
“Nana is dragging a corpse around, f00l.”

Rofl Pony
“Curse you, WTF Chicken – you’re always one step ahead of me.”

O RLY Owl
“O RLY?”

Peach and Mario
Currently in Last Place

“Can-a we have-a tickets to Onett-a?” asked Mario, to a worker.

“Of course,” said a Koopa worker, processing tickets.

Mario grabbed the tickets, and then looked at where Peach was.

Peach was gone.

“Peach-a,” said Mario, looking far and wide. “Where are-a you?”

“Mario!” said Peach, waving.

Mario looked and noticed that Peach was now tied to the ceiling directly above his head.

“How on earth-a did you get there, Peach?” he said angrily.

“Uh… special princess powers!” said Peach.

Her ropes came loose and she fell ten metres onto Mario’s head, crushing him.

“Ow,” said Peach.

“All teams are now on their way to Onett!” said Master Hand. “On the 12:30 ‘Air Four’ flight which lands at 8:00 AM, local time, there is: Samus and Falcon, Kirby and Jigglypuff, Ness and Yoshi and Mewtwo and Pichu!

“On the 12:30 Mushroom Air flight, which lands at 9:00 AM local time, there is Fox and Roy, and Bowser and Ganondorf!

“Everyone else is on the 2:00 PM ‘Air Four’ flight, which lands at 10:30 AM, local time!

“When they land, they will have to head for this crater, where they will find their next clue!”

1st Air Four Flight
Landed at 8:10 AM

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

“Come on, Jigs!” said Kirby, patting Jigglypuff on the head, running out of the airport.

Jigglypuff flagged down a taxi, and Kirby loaded their bags into the back of the taxi.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 2nd Place

“Hey Samus, do you know karate?” asked Falcon, running out of the plane next to Samus. “Cos damn, your body is really kickin’!”

“Yeah,” said Samus, doing a double-somersault-reverse-spinning-triple-backflip-roundhouse kick to Falcon’s face. “And by the way,” said Samus, elbowing Falcon’s nose. “If you ever use one of those crummy pick up lines,” Samus snapped Falcon’s spinal chord, “I will ask you nicely,” Samus used a razor to shave the skin off his forehead, “to stop harassing me,” Samus pierced Falcon’s leg with a javelin, “and I will alert the authorities,” Samus slammed a screwdriver into his temple, “and you will stop. Okay?”

“Okay,” said Falcon, weeping.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place

“Yoshi Yoshi hur hup Yoshi, up hup Yoshi up hurr Yoshi Yoshi!” said Yoshi. “I booked us a good taxi driver on the plane, so we should arrive there relatively fast!”

“Okay,” said Ness, taking their bags, running out of the airport.

Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in 4th Place

“I’m tired Mewtwo, I’m tired! Tired, tired, tired!” moaned Pikachu, running around.

“You know Pichu, you are an annoying little weakling excuse for a Pokemon, do you know that?” raged Mewtwo.

Pichu started crying.

Mewtwo sighed.

“Here, I’ll get you some ice cream to cheer you up,” said Mewtwo, restlessly.

“I’m getting ice cream, Mewtwo! Ice cream! Ice cream, ice cream!” said a joyful Pichu.

Mewtwo sighed.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

“Okay, we’re at the cable car,” said Kirby.

“Yay!” said Jigglypuff, patting Kirby.

“Kiss?” asked Kirby.

“Yay!” said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff kissed Kirby by the tongue.

And continued.

“Hehe… cute Jigglypuff,” said Kirby.

And continued.

“Uh… Jigglypuff?”

And continued.

“Jigglypuff?”

And continued.

“Jigglypuff? Help?”

And continued.

Kirby began to suffocate on Jigglypuff’s body.

He ran around in circles, trying to pry her off.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place

“Well done, Yoshi,” said Ness, stepping out of the taxi. “You got a good driver.”

“Yoshi!” said Yoshi.

“We’d better beat Kirby and Jigglypuff, now!” said Ness.

Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in 3rd Place

“We’re in the cable car!” announced Pichu.

“I know,” raged a restless Mewtwo.

“Hey Mewtwo, where’s my ice cream?” asked Pichu, slightly angrily.

Mewtwo looked at a little Koopa next to him, licking an ice cream.

“Where’s my ice cream?” asked Pichu.

Mewtwo looked at a little Koopa next to him, licking an ice cream.

“Hey look!” said Mewtwo, in a really faked voice. “Some stars!”

Pichu turned away.

Mewtwo psychically fried the Koopa, cackling evilly.

Pichu looked back.

“Hey look, it’s the ice cream I was saving for you all along!” announced Mewtwo.

Pichu looked at the ice cream happily, and then started licking.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4th Place

“Hey babe,” said Falcon, in an attempted deep voice.

“Look,” said Samus, bluntly. “I’m going to save all of this trouble of beating you up, by putting this muffler over your mouth.”

“Do you go for the silent type?” asked Falcon.

Samus promptly put the muffler over Falcon’s mouth.

Samus started punching Falcon.

Falcon made some muffled screams.

“I think I’ll like him like this,” said Samus.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place

“Well, it’s now the midway point of the cable car, the puffballs are a few cabins in front, and Mewtwo and Pichu are one back, so Yoshi and I have agreed to go over to their car, and make an alliance with Mewtwo and Pichu,” announced Ness.

Ness and Yoshi walked back one cabin.

“Hi,” said Ness, sitting down.

“Hey,” said Pichu.

“Mewtwo, how about we form an alliance with you?” asked Ness. “I think Kirby and Jigglypuff, Samus and Falcon and Bowser and Ganondorf all seem threats as far as getting to the top goes. I’m thinking if we can help each other, we can perform better!”

“Whatever,” said Mewtwo. “But only for a few legs. We might slow you down, or vice versa, so just help each other for the first few.”

“Okay,” said Ness.

Ness
Interview after the leg

“I think it’s good to have some connections to other teams, because if they know something that they wouldn’t share with any other team, but it would help you, it would give you a giant advantage,” said Ness.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

“Jig Iggly! Jig Puff Ig!” said Jigglypuff, reading the clue. “Detour! Sweep or Flick!”

“Detour!” said Master Hand. “In a detour, teams have to choose between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons! In this detour, teams have to choose between ‘Sweep’ or ‘Flick’!

“In ‘Sweep’, teams will have to go down to Onett Town and clean up a room in one of these ancient video game arcades! Depending on how long teams take to do this, this could take anything from ten minutes to ten hours! This should take a long time, but if teams manage to get locals to help them, then they can get the job done quicker!

“In ‘Flick’, teams will have to head down to the Onett Theatre. There they will find a collection of tickets to various private screenings of half-hour films! Teams will have to sit through thirty minutes of boring documentaries or plotless soapies in order to receive their next clues. It will only take half an hour, but it could be very emotionally traumatising!”

“I think we’ll do Sweep!” said Kirby.

Ness and Yoshi, Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in equal 2nd place

“Sweep or Flick?” asked Mewtwo.
“How does Flick sound to you?” asked Ness.

“Good,” replied Mewtwo.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4th Place

“Do you wanna see a boring movie?” asked Samus.

“Oh, I’ll make it interesting,” said Falcon, before making some cat noises.

“Oh dear,” said Samus. “It seems your muffler came off.”

Samus put it back on.

Falcon started suffocating.

“Much better.”

Mushroom Air Flight
Landed at 9:05 AM

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

“Hi, are you available?” asked Bowser to a taxi driver.

“No, sorry,” replied the driver.

“Oh, well that’s fine. We’ll just-”

Ganondorf pushed Bowser over.

“My friend here can breathe fire, do you want to be on fire?” asked Ganondorf, in a very harsh, fierce voice.

“No,” replied the taxi driver, scared.

Fox and Roy
Currently in 6th Place

“Come on, Roy! Sprint Roy, Sprint!” screamed Fox in a really aggro voice.

Fox sprinted as fast as he could, while Roy lagged behind.

“You’re not running fast enough, maggot!” shrieked Fox in a rough, deep voice.

Fox blew a hole in the wall, which meant that they would skip customs, and into the entrance.

Fox saw a candy store.

“Oh boy, candy, I love candy!” said Fox, in a childish six-year old voice, which was so whiny and high pitched, you would want to stab him in the heart with a viola.

Roy ran up to Fox.

“Fox, why are you stopping for candy? Do you need to seek psychiatric help?” asked Roy.

“Finally you came, slowpoke!” screamed Fox.

Roy sighed.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

“Oh no!” said Kirby, loudly in a slightly faked tone. “Our abusive parents will not let us out until we clean this really big room!”

“Jig Iggly Puff Ig Buff Puff!” said Jigglypuff, crying. “I may never get to see that awesome Smasher, Jigglypuff fight! It is my lifelong dream!”

“If only some kind souls would help us, so that we could finish the job, and then run away and have happy lives!” cried Kirby.

Everybody in the arcade stared at them, speechless.

“Please…” moaned Kirby, using his special copying powers to become Bambi Kirby and make him look very pitiful.

Twenty people rushed around, cleaning the room up within seconds.

“Jig ig iggly ufff…” “Thank you kind souls, you.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Interview after the leg

“Well,” said Kirby, “it’s not really cheating.”

“Jig iggly ig,” added Jigglypuff. “I mean, those parents were really nasty to us.

“They know it was a lie,” whispered Kirby.

“Jig…” “Oh…”

“It’s just that people like to help cute little pink puffballs like us,” said Kirby confidently, patting Jigglypuff on the head.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

“Road Block!” said Kirby, opening the clue.

“Road Block!” said Master Hand. “A Road Block is a task that only one person can perform!

“In this Road Block, one person from each team will have to literally get past a road block! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…”

Master Hand looked around and noticed that nobody was laughing.

“Well, anyway, the Onett police are famous for blocking roads whenever something is happening. It will be both a mental and physical challenge to get past these giant barriers! They will then have to snatch a Golden Egg… I mean, their next clue, from within the road blocks!”

“Okay,” said Kirby, walking to the road block, facing Jigglypuff. “This shouldn’t be too hard, we just have to jump over these small…”

Kirby noticed the guards, and the multiple high barriers that were about five metres high.

“…barriers.”

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place

“Hey Yoshi, I finally found some tickets! It’s for a half an hour documentary on End User Licence Agreements, the loopholes and other related problems on the internet…”

Ness and Yoshi did a high-five.

Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in 4th Place

“Hey look, Mewtwo, some tickets to ‘Happy Fluffy Bunnies!’” announced Pichu.

“Oh please,” begged Mewtwo.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 2nd Place

“Oh baby, you are the love of my life,” said a man on the screen.

“Hey ba-” started Falcon.

“Don’t even think about it,” said Samus.

“What? Am I turning you on too much?”

Samus super glued the muffler to his face, so it would stay on.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

“There’s the clue!” said Bowser, pointing to a sign at the top of the cable car.

“This must be it,” said Ganondorf, running up to the tickets desk.

“Hi,” said Bowser, smiling. “Can we have-”

Bowser looked right, to see Ganondorf giving him ‘that’ look.

“Look!” said Bowser, growling. “We’re not going to pay for it, so just let us on, or we’ll clobber you!”

“Okay sir,” said the guy at the tickets desk, “You enter through that way.”

Bowser looked right, and saw Ganondorf’s Fonzie smile, which he does when he’s really happy.

Fox and Roy
Currently in 6th Place

“Run! Run! Run!” screamed Fox, violently pulling Roy out of the car.

“Okay! Okay! Calm down!” said Roy, shaking.

“We’ve got to get on the same cable car as they do!” said Fox, sprinting to the tickets desk.

Fox put down a ten dollar bill.

“Here’s ten dollars,” said Fox, starting to sweat, “Keep the change.”

Fox dragged Roy along, sprinting, and then did a hurdle-style jump over the turnstiles. He got out his gun, shot down the cable car Bowser and Ganondorf were just about to step into, and then sprinted into the next car Bowser and Ganondorf hopped into.

Fox started panting, and then let a big grin come onto his face.

“Yay! It’s us two teams together!” said Fox, changing into his high pitched six year old voice again. “We can sing songs together!”

“You do have problems, don’t you?” said Roy.

“What the heck are you on about, Roy?” said Fox, annoyed.

“It’s like you’ve got a split personality problem.”

Fox opened up his songbook.

“Hey Bowser,” said Fox, smiling, closing his eyes. “Let’s sing the Cat Disco song!”

“Yay!” said Bowser.

Ganondorf stared at Bowser.

“Uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh…”

Bowser jumped out of the cable car, and smashed his knee against a tree. He sat there groaning, holding his knee.

“Right…” said Ganondorf.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
1st at Road Block

“Okay,” said Kirby. “You’re going to do this Road Block, and what you’re going to do is, jump over the wall, sing a song to the guards, and when they fall asleep, grab the clue, okay?”

“Jig Iggly Ig!” said Jigglypuff. “Okay!”

Jigglypuff looked at the first wall in front of her. She puffed up into a balloon, and then started jumping upwards. When she ran out of breath, she managed to grab onto the top ledge, and then jump over.

“Sorry, little girl,” said one of the police officers. “The park bench broke, so that means we have to block off all of the roads within an eight kilometre radius.”

Jigglypuff sang a song.

Everyone fell asleep.

Jigglypuff grabbed the clue.

The clue was almost heavier than her, so she couldn’t climb back over the wall.

Jigglypuff saw a mattress factory nearby.

Without anyone noticing, she grabbed a lot of mattresses, and then made a big staircase out of all of them.

Jigglypuff saw a Moonbucks™ nearby.

Jigglypuff stopped for a coffee.

Jigglypuff forgot about her staircase, so walked around the Road Block.

Jigglypuff realised she forgot her purse.

Jigglypuff realised her purse was stolen.

Jigglypuff went to the police station.

Jigglypuff filed a police report, but then realised that she didn’t have a purse, and then started chuckling along with the other police, because the crime didn’t happen.

Jigglypuff walked back to Kirby.

“Wow, that was pretty quick, you got the clue in the space of a minute,” said Kirby.

Jigglypuff did a sax solo with an anthropomorphic drum kit as backing, cured cancer and won three Grammies.

Jigglypuff opened the clue.

“You must now make your way to the pit stop, at Ness’ family home!” read Kirby.

“Teams must now make their way to Ness’ family home, which will be the first pit stop for this race around the Nintendo Universe!” said Master Hand. “Teams must hurry, as the last team to arrive, will be eliminated.”

“Yay, pit stop!” said Kirby.

“Iggly pug!” “We’re in the lead!”

2nd Air Four Flight
Arrived at 10:20 AM

Link and Marth
Currently in 7th Place

“Well, I think we are on the third flight,” said Link. “So we’ll have to really make up on some lost ground, if we don’t want to be eliminated!”

“Oh look!” said Marth, pointing to a person outside of the terminal. “A big clump of gasoline just landed on the guy! Let’s set him on fire!”

“Gee Marth,” said Link, putting his hand on his chin. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Think about the consequences! Maybe that person might be sad, or angry if he were burnt alive.”

“That’s right!” said Freddy, the fire fighter. “I have been burnt alive many times, and I have been sad or angry all the time, and that resulted in negative social behaviour! And remember kids… if you’re going to set someone on fire… let it be the unpopular kids!”

Marth stared strangely at Link.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 8th Place

“Come on… Zelda…” said Donkey Kong running. “Let’s get… a taxi…”

“Yeah…” replied Zelda, shaking.

Donkey Kong and Zelda looked away from each other, and both started having a nervous breakdown.

Popo and Young Link
Currently in 9th Place

“Hey Popo, the most interesting thing happened to me on the plane!” said Young Link.

“What?” replied Popo.

“Well, you see-”

The camera somehow cut off, purely accidental, of course.

Peach and Mario
Currently in 10th Place

“Peach-a, where are you?” asked Mario.

Mario noticed his hand luggage was moving.

“But-a, that-a doesn’t make any sense! You can’t-a fit into there!”

“Oh,” said Peach, baffled by the logic.

As we all know, any logic confuses Peach. And life went on. Hooray.

Nana and Luigi
Currently in Last Place

Nana noticed that Luigi’s body was starting to rot.

“Oh… well how surprising…”

Nana went back to her pouting face, and dragged his body along.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

Kirby and Jigglypuff walked into Ness’ family home, and stepped on the giant map.

“Kirby and Jigglypuff, you are team number one!” said Master Hand.

Jigglypuff kissed Kirby on the cheek, and then they did a high-five.

“And as a bonus of coming first, you both will receive 10,000 dollars!”

“Yay,” said Kirby.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Interview after the leg

“Well, I honestly didn’t think that we would come first in the first leg, I thought we would do fairly well, I would’ve settled for anything above sixth, but this is awesome!” said Kirby.

Ness and Yoshi
2nd at Road Block

“Okay, I’ll do it,” said Ness.

Ness scaled the wall, and then jumped next to the police officers.

“Hey, Ness,” said the police officers.

“Hi, there,” said Ness. “It’s nice to be back here.”

“Well,” said the police officers, “according to Master Hand, we’re not allowed to give you any help.”

The police officers showed Ness a large piece of cardboard with ‘DO NOT HELP PEOPLE’ written on it.

“Oh,” said Ness.

“But,” said the police officers, “we can make an exception for you, because you saved all of Eagleland! Unlike, of course, Mario, Samus, Kirby, Marth, and Link.” They handed him the clue.

“Gee, thanks!” said Ness.

“No problem,” said one of the police officers. “Thank you for saving us!”

Ness scaled back over the wall.

Samus and Falcon
3rd at Road Block

“Whatever, I’ll do it,” said Samus, jumping over the wall.

Samus shot all of the officers, and then noticed a pile of clues.

“Heh,” said Samus.

Samus took one.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place

Ness and Yoshi walked onto the giant map, where Master Hand was waiting.

“Ness and Yoshi,” said Master Hand. “You are team number two!”

“Yes,” said Ness, doing a hi-five with Yoshi.

Ness and Yoshi
Interview after the leg

“I think coming second was awesome, but coming second to Kirby and Jigglypuff was slightly disappointing. Why? Because we almost had them within grasp of us, but they used their cuteness to their advantage, and I think I could have done the ‘Sweep’ task quicker than the movie, due to being liked by the locals,” said Ness.

“Yoshi yoshi hup hurr Yoshi, ar Yoshi hup yay, Yoshi!” said Yoshi. “I think what we have to do is focus a bit more, and push ourselves a bit harder, just to get in that spot in front!”

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

As Samus and Falcon walked into Ness’ house, Samus took off the muffler.

“Yeah baby! I can flirt with you-”

Samus put the muffler back on immediately.

They stepped onto the mat.

“Samus and Falcon, you are team number three!”

“Yeah!” shouted Falcon as loud as he could from under the muffler.

“We did well,” said Samus. “But Falcon is an absolute perv, flirt and idiot, and I still do not want to have any connection/contact with him whatsoever.”

“Too bad,” said Master Hand, smiling. “You two are in the same bed together!”

Master Hand started making dog sounds.

Samus shot Master Hand repeatedly in the finger.

Mewtwo and Pichu
4th at Road Block

“I’ll do the Road Block,” said Mewtwo.

Mewtwo psychokinetically ripped the giant wall in half, giving him an entrance. Mewtwo then forced all of the guards away, and took a clue.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

“You sure this will work?” asked Bowser.

“I am very sure,” said Ganondorf.

Bowser walked into the local school, knocked out the teacher, and put on the teacher’s clothes.

“Uh… Alright students… now you have your newest field trip… the arcade!” announced Bowser.

All of the children cheered.

Suddenly, Ganondorf locked all of the children into a cage, and forced them to clean up the room.

“Isn’t this… kinda… illegal?” asked Bowser.

“Well, don’t we break the law a lot? After all, we are super villains,” replied Ganondorf, drumming his hands together.

“Yeah… right… evil… no respect for cute things… like puppies… yeah…” said Bowser.

Fox and Roy
Currently in 6th Place

“Come on Roy, we have to clean up this room, like we pack up our rooms at home!” said Fox, in a really nasally, childish voice.

“Fox, were you scarred as a child?” asked Roy.

“Come on, Fox! Scrub up the ship! Look what mess you’ve made!” screamed Fox, cleaning up the room swiftly.

The room was done.

“Hey, waddaya know?” asked Roy.

Roy got the clue from one of the workers, and then ran off with Fox.

Mewtwo and Pichu
Currently in 4th Place

“Yay Mewtwo, there’s the mat! Let’s stand on it!” said Pichu, bouncing up and down, hyper.

Mewtwo and Pichu stepped on the giant map.

“Mewtwo and Pichu, you are team number four!” said Master Hand.

Bowser and Ganondorf
5th at Road Block

Bowser walked through the wreckage to get a clue, and noticed a police officer getting up.

“Stop! Onett Police!” said the policeman.

“Uh… Oh no! A car brushed against the curb over there!” said Bowser, pointing. “Better set up a road block!”

The policeman ran over to where Bowser was pointing, holding a lot of orange traffic cones.

Bowser wiped the sweat off his forehead, and started walking back towards Ganondorf.

Fox spear tackled Bowser, knocking him over.

“Run Roy! Get the clue! Now!” screamed Fox.

“Ow!” screamed Bowser, holding his hand. “I just recently polished my nails, and you’ve ruined them! Jerk!”

Ganondorf stared.

“Hehe… you like my little joke?” asked Bowser, sweating like a pig.

“Oh… it was a joke!” laughed Ganondorf. “I like jokes!”

Roy
6th at Road Block

Roy ran over the demolished wall, and grabbed the clue.

“Fox!” said Roy, reading the clue. “The pit stop is next!”

Fox and Roy, and Bowser and Ganondorf had a slow-motion race to the pit stop.

Bowser and Ganondorf got there first.

“Woo,” said Ganondorf.

“Bowser and Ganondorf, you are team number five! Fox and Roy, you are team number six!” said Master Hand.

Link and Marth
Currently in 7th Place

“Detour!” said Link, opening a clue.

Link read the clue.

“Do you want to see a film, or sweep an old dusted room?” asked Link.

“See a film,” said Marth.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 8th Place

“Do you wanna see a film together?” asked Donkey Kong to Zelda.

“Oh… okay…” said Zelda, smiling.

Link and Marth
Currently in 7th Place

“Hey look, Link!” said Marth. “I found tickets to a film called, ‘The true meaning of friendship!’”

Link and Marth entered the cinema.

“I hope this isn’t a chick flick,” said Marth.

“We are sisters,” said a voice on the screen. “And no matter what we go through, we’ll always be friends, and always be sisters!”

“I hope this isn’t a chick flick,” said Marth, slightly alarmed.

“Let’s have an all girls slumber party Road Trip to Summers, to find out the meaning of true girl friendship!” announced a girl on the screen.

“I think this is a chick flick,” said Marth.

“ZOMG WTFBBQ!111 PILLOH FITE!111” shouted another girl on the screen.

“Chick flick!” screamed Marth, diving under a chair. “NOOOO!”

“This is the type of film that doesn’t appeal to anyone, but still makes 200 million at the box office,” commented Link.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 8th Place

“Look, DK,” said Zelda. “I found tickets to, ‘Cross Species Relationships and You!’”

Donkey Kong and Zelda entered the small cinema, and handed tickets to the projector man at the back.

They sat down.

The film started.

“Cross-species relationships. Some would say that it is evolution gone wrong. Some would say that it is an abomination upon religion. Either way, it’s clearly very, very, wrong and it is never, ever going to work out.

“For the purposes of example, let us imagine to people of different species. Meet Derek, the talking ape, and Zoe, the female Hyrulian elf. Clearly, they are of different species. Unfortunately, they harbour secret affections for each other.”

Zelda and DK sat in very uncomfortable silence, staring at the screen.

“In fact, because inter-species romance never works out, they might as well give up. Zoe should focus on a more realistic target, such as Link. Derek the ape should focus on a more realistic target, such as a banana carcass.”

Zelda and Donkey kong broke into tears.

11:15 AM

Peach and Mario
Currently in 9th Place

“What should-a we do?” asked Mario, reading the clue.

“Well, Daisy is on holiday here, so I could ask her to help us clean up the room!” announced Peach.

“Good-a idea, Peach,” said Mario.

Popo and Young Link
Currently in 10th Place

“Let’s see a film,” said Popo. “I think its safer, and if the Road Block makes us do something physical, than we both haven’t wasted any energy.”

Nana and Luigi
Currently in Last Place

“Luigi, what task do you want to do?” asked Nana, in a restless voice.

Nana looked angrily at Luigi’s dead carcass.

“Can’t make up your mind?” asked Nana. “Fine then, we’ll sweep up the room.”

Link and Marth
Currently in 7th Place

Link and Marth arrived at Ness’ house. They walked onto the world map.

“Link and Marth, you are team number seven!” said Master Hand.

“I’m pretty happy with this result,” said Link.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 8th Place

Zelda and Donkey Kong stepped onto the world map.

“Zelda and Donkey Kong, you are team number eight!” said Master Hand.

“Yes,” said Zelda.

Donkey Kong bent down and hugged Zelda.

“He hugged me,” thought Zelda.

“I hugged her,” thought Donkey Kong.

“I bet he did that just to make me feel better about the film,” thought Zelda, starting to shed some tears.

“Oh no, I’ve offended her!”

They both broke into tears.

Master Hand stared.

Peach and Mario
Currently in 9th Place

“Hello Daisy?” said Peach, on her cell phone. “Hi, I was just wondering if you could come and help us sweep this arcade, being the nice person you are!”

Peach listened to Daisy’s response.

“Where am I? I’m at the old arcade.”

Daisy nuked the old arcade, removing the entire floor that they were supposed to clean.

“Yay!” said Peach. “Thanks Daisy!”

A producer came in.

“Well, seeing that there’s no place for you to sweep, you get the clue on a technicality!”

“Yay!” said Peach, and Mario.

Daisy
“What? She’s still alive? Curses,” thought Daisy to herself.

Peach and Mario
Currently in 9th Place

“Peach-a, you do the Road Block!” said Mario.

Peach walked in and got the clue.

“Where are-a the guards?” asked Mario.

Peach opened the clue.

“You must now make your way to the pit stop, at Ness’ family home!” read Peach.

Popo and Young Link
Currently in 10th Place

“Well that was an interes-”

The tape mysteriously jumped forward.

“Who’s gonna do the Road Block?” asked Popo.

“I will,” said Young Link.

Nana and Luigi
Currently in Last Place

“There’s Popo and Young Link! We better beat them! You do the Road Block!”

Luigi’s dead carcass got picked up in the draft of the wind, next to the pile of clues. One clipped onto his moustache, and a shift in the direction of the wind made Luigi’s body blow back to Nana.

“Heh,” said Nana.

Peach and Mario
Currently in 9th Place

Peach and Mario stepped onto the mat.

“Peach and Mario, you are team number nine!” said Master Hand.

“Yay!” said Peach.

Popo and Young Link
Currently in 10th Place

“Come on,” said Popo, hurrying Young Link up. “We’ve got to reach the pit stop before Nana and Luigi do! We’re in risk of elimination.”

Nana and Luigi
Currently in Last Place

“Come on, Luigi, hurry,” said Nana, dragging along Luigi’s body, who had no skin on his head now, because all of the skin dropped off, due to his head being dragged along the ground.

Popo and Young Link
Currently in 10th Place

Popo and Young Link stepped onto the world map.

“Popo and Young Link, you are team number ten!” said Master Hand.

Young Link puffed. “At least we didn’t get eliminated.”

Nana and Luigi stepped inside the building.

“Nana and Luigi, you are the last team to arrive, which makes you eliminated from the race,” said Master Hand.

Nana made a sulky face.

“Did you learn or accomplish anything from this race?” asked Master Hand.

“No,” said an angry Nana.

“At least you killed Luigi!”

Everybody chuckled, including Nana.

“That’s true,” said Nana.

“Good-a work, Nana,” said Mario, patting her on the head.

“Well,” said Master Hand, “it looks as if that’s all for now.”

Nana and Luigi
Interview after Leg

“Well, at least Luigi died,” said Nana. “Otherwise, it was pointless. But I got a free soda on the plane!”

Everybody chuckled.

“I don’t get it,” said Link. “Why is everyone laughing?”

Everybody chuckled.

“It’s a laugh track,” said Master Hand.

Everybody chuckled.

“You know, like in ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’, if they crack a really sour joke, they can still get away with it because it has the laugh track?”

“Oh,” said Nana.

Everybody chuckled.


Please R&R, tell me who you want to win and tell me who you think will win!

Back to the main TSAR page.

Finish Times:

Kirby and Jigglypuff: 10:27 AM
Ness and Yoshi: 10:32 AM
Samus and Falcon: 10:34 AM
Mewtwo and Pichu: 10:40 AM
Bowser and Ganondorf: 10:45 AM
Fox and Roy: 10:45 AM
Link and Marth: 11:25 AM
Zelda and Donkey Kong: 11:29 AM
Peach and Mario: 11:42 AM
Popo and Young Link: 11:47 AM
Nana and Luigi: 11:48 AM- ELIMINATED

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